I had my first Confession yesterday morning. I woke up nervous about it, but for incredibly silly reasons. "What if it's randomly cancelled and I don't know?" "What if there's not a line and I don't know where to stand?" While the first one has a bit of validity, what on Earth is going on with the second worry?
This is how my brain works. I'm not worried about how my life will sound to the priest. I'm not (too) worried about passing out from nerves. I'm worried about minor technicalities that don't change the fact that I need to Confess but could slightly mess with my day.
And actually, that's a little important: I do need to know where to be if I'm expecting to be doing something in a certain moment. But anyway:
I got to the parish about half through the hour of Confessions and there was already a line (a short one, thankfully). But as the time drew closer I found myself reciting Hail Mary in English and Latin (my new challenge: learn prayers in Latin) to calm my nerves. Doing things correctly is already important to me, but doing things correctly concerning faith is so much more important. I want to do everything I can to please God.
Soon enough, the door opened and it was my turn. I recognized the voice of the Father and instantly felt a greater ease. I wasn't embarrassed by my sins to the point of worrying about how saying them would make me appear. I did and have detested them, so I certainly did not treat my sins lightly. But Father was patient and kind in asking questions and giving his advice and act of penance.
This was wonderful. He understood it was my first Confession and made sure I was aware of what I was doing, checked that I was baptized, made certain that I was certain about converting. All bases were covered, so to speak, in a very compassionate way. I'm sure Father has heard tons of Confessions, probably a lot of first Confessions, but he was careful to guide me through the process and encourage me in my walk in a way that felt very easy and natural. Pray for your priests! They do amazing things in their vocation to cleanse and strengthen your soul. Pray that they will be faithful to the Church and their duties, that they will seek Truth and Love in all they do and that they will Confess themselves.